Band 6 essay sample: noise pollution in cities.
Read the Band 6 essay on noise pollution in cities, then a note on each criterion and one change that would make it stronger.
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- Band 6 from our checker
- 271 words
- Problem and solution Task 2 type
What the problem and solution question asks.
Noise pollution is a growing problem in many urban areas. What are the causes of noise pollution in cities, and what can be done to reduce it?
A Band 6 essay.
Noise is one of the biggest problems in modern cities, and it has a bad affect on the daily life of millions of people. Many residents cannot sleep well, and they feel stressed and tired because of the constant noise. In this essay, I will explain why this problem happens, and I will suggest some solutions.
Firstly, the biggest cause of noise in cities is the traffic. There are too many cars, buses, and motorbikes in the streets, and drivers often use their horns in traffic jams. Also, many motorbikes are old, and they are extremely noisy. For example, in my city people can hear the traffic noise even at midnight, it is very difficult to sleep with the windows open. Moreover, there is a lot of construction works because cities are growing very fast. Furthermore, many young people go to bars and clubs, and they do a lot of noise in the night.
Secondly, there are some solutions for this problem. The goverment should build more public transport, so less people will use their cars. For example, if the city has a good metro, many people will leave their cars at home. Also, they can make rules about the time of construction works. Another solution is to plant trees along busy roads because the trees can absorb the noise.
In conclusion, noise pollution is a serious problem, and the main causes are traffic, construction, and nightlife. I believe that if governments and citizens work together, our cities can become quieter and more pleasant places for live. Everybody should also respect their neighbors and keep the noise down, especially at night.
Band 6 essay, criterion by criterion.
Each band is the one our checker gave. Underlined in the essay: the words each note quotes.
- Task ResponseBand 6
- The answer covers both parts of the question: causes and solutions. The causes have an example from the writer's city, and the metro example supports one solution, but the other solutions are shorter. The idea about building hours is only named.
- Coherence and CohesionBand 6
- The plan is clear: causes, then solutions, then a conclusion. But the linking feels mechanical: "Secondly" opens the solutions, not another cause, and the causes paragraph reads like a list. In the paragraph about solutions, it is not clear who "they" are.
- Lexical ResourceBand 6
- Topic words like "traffic jams" and "absorb the noise" fit well, but most words are everyday ones, and noise is repeated many times. Some choices are wrong, such as "a bad affect" and "do a lot of noise", and "goverment" is misspelled.
- Grammatical Range and AccuracyBand 6
- Most sentences are simple, with a few because and if clauses. Errors are common, for example "less people" and "places for live". A comma joins sentences that should be separate in the example about the writer's city.
One change that makes this essay stronger.
Also, they can make rules about the time of construction works.
Also, city councils can allow building work only during the day, so that people can sleep at night and at weekends.
The idea is now explained, not just named, and "they" is now clear.
Write your own essay on this question.
Get a band for each criterion, every mistake fixed, and your essay rewritten at your target band.
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