Band 8 essay sample: contacting staff on holidays.
Read the Band 8 essay on contacting staff on holidays, then a note on each criterion and one change that would make it stronger.
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- Band 8 from our checker
- 297 words
- Advantages and disadvantages Task 2 type
What the advantages and disadvantages question asks.
Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?
A Band 8 essay.
Smartphones have made it possible for managers to reach employees almost anywhere, and some now expect replies even when staff are on leave. Although this can occasionally rescue a business from a crisis, I believe the disadvantages are greater, unless such contact is strictly reserved for genuine emergencies.
The benefit is clearest in small organizations where knowledge sits with very few people. If the payment system of a small online shop fails while its only technician is abroad, a ten-minute call can prevent a whole day of lost sales. In that situation, a brief interruption is a reasonable price, and many employees would rather help than return to a disaster.
The costs, however, tend to be hidden and long-lasting. The purpose of leave is recovery, which depends on being mentally switched off, not merely away from the office. A friend who manages a hospital department checked her inbox every evening of her vacation just in case, and came back feeling as if she had never left. Multiplied across a workforce, this half-rest matters for productivity, because exhausted staff commit more mistakes and fall ill more often.
There is also a cultural effect. Once a few people start answering messages at midnight, availability quickly becomes a measure of commitment. Staff with young children or elderly parents then appear less dedicated simply because they cannot respond. In one team I know, nobody was required to reply on holiday, yet within a year everyone did, and two experienced members left.
On balance, constant contact does more harm than good, so a clear policy has a great importance. Staff should be contacted on leave only in real emergencies, and a named colleague should be responsible of urgent issues. Anyone who still has to work on holiday should get that time back.
Band 8 essay, criterion by criterion.
Each band is the one our checker gave. Underlined in the essay: the words each note quotes.
- Task ResponseBand 7
- The position is clear and careful: more harm than good, unless contact is kept for real emergencies. Each side is developed with a specific example, from the online shop to the hospital manager. The policy in the conclusion could be linked more clearly to both the staff's health and the business.
- Coherence and CohesionBand 8
- The essay moves from benefits to hidden costs to a fair solution, and each paragraph grows from its opening sentence. Linking is mostly natural, as in "The costs, however," and "On balance".
- Lexical ResourceBand 8
- Vocabulary is precise, for example "genuine emergencies", "mentally switched off" and "a measure of commitment". A few word partners slip, as in "a great importance" and "commit more mistakes".
- Grammatical Range and AccuracyBand 8
- A wide range of structures is used naturally, including conditions with if and unless. Slips are rare and small, such as "responsible of urgent issues".
One change that makes this essay stronger.
On balance, constant contact does more harm than good, so a clear policy has a great importance.
On balance, constant contact does more harm than good, which is why a clear policy matters so much.
The sentence is now fully natural and accurate.
Write your own essay on this question.
Get a band for each criterion, every mistake fixed, and your essay rewritten at your target band.
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